it’s actually really hard being an introvert. i easily get anxious talking to someone that i don’t know, as i’m getting older i’m starting to control my mental of being anxious. It’s really hard for me to make a conversation if i met a stranger, i can’t look in the eyes and i continuously look at my surrounding trying to avoid eye contact. And i know it’s rude to not make eye contact while talking to someone, i try looking at their eyes but i look away after asecond later. i’m not the extream introvert, because don’t worry i have friends but only a view… yeah i talk continuously with my friend but if you compare me meeting a stranger.. i’m just the girl who wants to avoid a conversation as much as possible.
And by the way i can’t remember names.. like if you introduce your name when we first time met,my anxious level gone high because i can’t call you i forgot your name. And i don’t understand people how do they remember people name so fast. it took me 1 or 2 weeks to remember new name. And it was alot harder if the name was complicated, my friend had like 10 word in her full name and i only remeber half because it was too long. i still can’t remember names fast until now but i’m trying.
When i talk to someone in public like ordering food or ask for information, my stomach goes really wild like i want to vomit. My dad or mom always ask me to pay, ask for direction and stuff like that alone so i can be indepedent and stuff. But every single time literally every single time there will be an awkward situation during the conversation. Onetime i was walking alone in the mall and i need a direction to dunkin donut ,because i was at the mall and i’m new to the mall and the map doesn’t really show the way so the only solution was i ask someone who works at the mall. There’s no information center so i look at the lady who’s standing in front of a drugstore, she was standing doing nothing so i decided to ask her with my anxiousnes. I ask her “do you know where is dunkin donut? because at the map said it was underground but i only see parking space downstair” the lady confused and said “WHAT’S A DUNKIN DONUT?” i confuse and she confuse and instant awkward situation. Then i describe what they sell, the lady called her friend and ask her the same about the place, her friend was also confuse and well they don’t know what to say to me and the situation was getting tense and awkward my face was heating up even thought it was suppose to be a quick conversation. They finally said that they were sorry they don’t know the place and i felt more anxious and felt bad. I said thank you in an awkward intonation and walk quickly as far as i can. My heart and my soul want to die because i was so panic and anxious i finally give up on searching the dunkin donut…. I JUST WANT A DONUT…
THANK YOU for reading i know it was a bit long but it was fun sharing this stuff to you guys and i hope you guys enjoy what i write. sorry if there is a TYPO
MY LIFE 